#14 - JAYA INTERVIEWS A SHIT DUMPSTER
This is the single most fascinating interview I've ever done.
First thing’s first, I will not be offended if you choose not to read this. I understand. A few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have read this either. I certainly wouldn’t have written it. But a lot has happened in the last month or so, when Shit Dumpster and I started talking. (Shit Dumpster is the rather affectionate name we’ve decided to refer to him by instead of “Poop Guy”. I can assure you he was not named “Shit Dumpster” at birth.)
Before you get any further, let’s do some trigger/content warnings.
This is an interview with a man who has a coprophilia and scatology fetish. He is sexually aroused by extreme humiliation, and that includes the consumption of human feces.
We go deep into discussion of abuse: physical, emotional, sexual. Oblique references to a physically abusive parent, many explicit discussion of a sexually, physically, and emotionally abusive partner.
There is discussion of sexual experiences that children can have. There is no mention of pedophilia or any adult taking advantage of a child, but we do talk about the very real formative sexual experiences that children have.
Scat.
It’s the final frontier of kink. If Star Trek’s Starship Enterprise was a kinky person, well, I’d imagine they’d be boldly experimenting with poop.
Poop is the most extreme (but still legal) thing you can possibly be into.
You can read more about how I met Shit Dumpster in Issue #5 of JAYA TIME, but the short story is: I met Shit Dumpster on Twitter, maybe a month or so ago. He had followed me, and his bio and avatar left absolutely nothing to the imagination about his fetishes. I, out of a sick fascination, slid into his DMs and asked if I could interview him. He said yes, and we messaged for about a week.
First thing that happened was that at some point, I started feeling really guilty that I had started this with the intention of exploiting his story for clicks, and apologized. He apologized for following me with the intention of seeing if I wanted to start something with him, and we decided to start over, with a clean slate.
After that, we embarked on establishing a strange friendship, one that was platonic in nature. We discussed politics. He gave me career advice. (SD is in his early 40s, and has been very successful in his life.) And yes, we made a lot of poop puns. (“Lay one on me.” “You sure you don’t want to unload a little?” “Let’s get to the bottom of this.”)
A few Sundays ago, we had our phone call. And I was blown away. This was a confident, successful, very funny, very nice person. This was, by all accounts, a person with a healthy self-regard, someone who had done a very good job of compartmentalizing and funneling all the terrible things that had happened to him in his life into sex, but had managed to leave his personal and professional life rather intact.
According to a professional dominatrix I interviewed for this story, Shit Dumpster’s story is a very standard kinky tale. Childhood traumas, leading to eccentric sexual fantasies later in life? It’s a bit of a yawn, to those who deal in this sort of kink all the time. According to the pro domme I interviewed, a very popular kink, for those who were put in cages and neglected as children is, well, you guessed it: being put in a cage as an adult. Is it playing out old patterns? Well, yes. But the difference, this time, is that the victim is in control of the play-acted “abuse”. What was a horrifying, dispiriting experience, transforms into something well within the victim’s control.
This interview is heart-warming, funny, and reassuring. It is also desperately sad, because of the things Shit Dumpster has been through in his life. But ultimately, I think it’s inspirational, because the way Shit Dumpster sees himself is deeply kind. It has taken a lot of self-work to bring him to a place where he can love himself. I think he has a lot to teach the rest of us.
I am honored to bring this to you. Thank you for taking a chance on this. If you can’t, I understand.
I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of this interview with more context and research, but there are footnotes marked by asterisks where I believe there needs to be some clarification.
Jaya: How are you?
Shit Dumpster: No complaints. How about yourself?
Jaya: Very good. I'm getting my life back together. I was sick for about four months.
SD: I'm sorry to hear that.
Jaya: I have bipolar depression. I crash very hard. And then I recover and I'm a little too competent, I get manic. Right now I'm in the stage where I'm a little too competent. And I have to scale back from working 12 hour days to working like eight hour days. You know what I mean?
SD: Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
Jaya: Are you the same way?
SD: Are you saying as far as being a workaholic, or dealing with bipolar disorder? Because if we're asking both, then the answer would be yes. I've made a lot of progress in a lot of areas as far as things like that go.
Jaya: Give me a quick biographical sketch. Were you raised in the South?
SD: No, no, I'm originally a New Yorker. I was born and raised in Long Island, and I lived most of my life there. I spent a lot of my youth in Brooklyn and the Bronx and stuff, so I'm definitely not a native Southerner.
Jaya: What do you do for a living?
SD: Well, honestly, this is not intended to be perverted at all, but I have my fingers in a lot of different pies. (laughs) I have patents, I have copyrights that generate some money as well. I'm involved in the cigar industry. I also do some day trading and things like that. I do voice-over work. I also have a pension from when I worked for [REDACTED]. I've always gotten bored easily. I like to keep things different, new, interesting. And it's been that way in my work life as well as other aspects of my life,
Jaya: I can completely relate to that. I'm so happy for you that you've made it work for you. I'm 31, and I'm still trying to figure out how to make bipolar work for me.
SD: You never stop trying to make it work. That's, that's the key. Never be fully content. Be happy! But don't be content. Don't be complacent.
Jaya: That resonates so much. How did you realize you were into being a submissive person, sexually?
SD: I should preface that in my life outside of my specific dealings typically with women, I am not a submissive person. In my everyday life, I'm a very dominant, a “get things done, do not fuck with me,” kind of person. And yes, at this point, it's almost a cliche. The high powered CEO behind closed doors who gets whipped and pegged. And yet, there's times when they don't want to be dominant, where they want to be dominated.
Anyway, I’ve been very submissive since I was a child. We came from a very, very poor household. My father wasn't in the picture. And when he was home, it was really just to be abusive. My mother used to babysit and there was this one girl she babysat. We played together frequently. And one day, she says, “Hey, have you ever played inchworm?”
And I'm like, no, what's that?”
She says, “well, you just kind of wrap yourself up in a blanket with your arms at your sides so that you're like a worm. And then it's a race and you just kind of crawl on your belly.” Whoever makes it across the basement first, wins. That sort of thing. I wasn't really able to wrap myself up with the blanket, so she helped me.
And then as soon as she did, she rolled me over, face up, and she sat on my face.
Jaya: Oh my god.
SD: I was like four or five years old.
Jaya: Oh, man, yeah. This shit gets imprinted early.
SD: Yeah, it's definitely a premature sexualization, I guess you'd say. But she was roughly the same age as me. I never asked her anything about it. We never talked about it. It's just that whenever she was over, that's what we would do. I spent most of my time, just being sat on.
I do recall that one time she farted, and I think she was embarrassed because she quickly looked at me to see if I was paying attention. She was sitting on my face. I think I was paying attention.
Jaya: (laughs)
SD: And, and, you know, I think that that was kind of like the dawning of a, you know, a bit of a fart fetish. Coprophilia, if you wish to call it that. My mom babysat her for years. She eventually became more aggressive and dominant with me. She would sit on my face. In the beginning, she was never, you know, bare-assed or anything like that, although we did progress to that.
My mom would call us for lunch and she'd run upstairs and you know, get like our tuna fish sandwiches or whatever, and run back down and sit on my face and eat both her lunch and mine. She’d help herself to my money, my toys, things like that. It was a soft bullying. And I think that fundamentally shaped a lot of things that that came later.
I don't know what happened to her in her personal life, to make her do what she did to me. I don’t know what she saw, or whatever. I don't know that this is the sort of thought that most children have. I'm certainly not an expert on anything, so I can't really say, you know?
Jaya: Well, you’re an expert on yourself.
SD: Yeah, I know me pretty well. I've known me almost my whole life! (laughs)
Jaya: So, I guess, you were into you were into eating ass before it was cool.
SD: Oh, God. Yeah. (laughs)
Jaya: I have a friend who got a virus from eating ass. He was out for three weeks. Are you ever scared something like that?
SD: Yeah, only a fool knows no fear. I'm a lot of things. I'm not a fool. I have an amazing constitution. I'm almost never sick. But yes, I am worried about getting sick. There are steps I take to help prevent being sick. But the fact of the matter is, you know, you can get sick from kissing somebody on the lips. You know, sexual contact is just by nature, dangerous, but rarely deadly. Because the deadly viruses don't want to be spread and transmitted sexually because the least effective way to spread viruses is sexually. An airborne virus is much worse.*
I'm not I'm not trying to downplay the heartbreak of chlamydia or anything like that. But yeah, real talk? The worst that's ever happened to me in any of my even most perverse endeavors has been like a stomach ache. Because the truth is, even according to the Illinois Poison Control Center, eating poop is, and I quote, minimally toxic. There's more toxins in a bag of Doritos. Look it up.**
There's things you can do to mitigate and look, I'm a perfectionist in everything and everything I do. I always tweak and tinker and perfect.*** And so I kind of have a system now, I guess you would say, which is designed to mitigate potential illness and to make it safe, because the vast majority of the shit that I do receive is sent by the mail. There's actually websites dedicated to that.
I’m sorry, I’m trying to keep it as G-rated as possible, because I know a lot of absolute toddlers read your stuff. (laughs)
There have been so many people, even in your mentions, that have made snarky little comments and called me "poop guy". And you know, I could go on there and just shred them to the point of tears. But I am not going to do that because I don't have anything to prove, and they’re proving their own ignorance.
It's important to remember that we shouldn't label or, you know, we shouldn't pigeonhole or put somebody in a box. You know, like, people are like “well, homosexuality is fine, but not this.” People have these, these limits, and then anything beyond it is magically bad, evil, perverse, or worthy of scorn. That doesn't resonate with me.
There are exceptions. Things that are illegal. Obviously, things that involves those that cannot give consent. But aside from that, I guess I'm slightly libertarian in this regard. If somebody wants to, I don't know mainline bleach into their eyeballs, I’d tell them, “hey, have fun.” If it doesn't pick my pocket or break my leg, have at it. This is how I look at it.
Jaya: Do you think you have any limits with women? Because if there are no limits can consent meaningfully be given?
SD: Well, I think there are always limits. If anybody is saying “oh, I have no limits,” I’d say, “okay, so I can walk up to you and drive an axe directly through your skull?” And the answer is going to be no, of course not. Again, there's always limits. You can peg someone in a bedroom, but you can't just walk up to somebody on the subway and start pegging them.
There's always going to be a limit. And where someone might have a limit, that's where other people's fetish begins. (laughs)
Jaya: So what are you not into, sexually?
SD: Due to my very small penis, I’m not really into intercourse. I've literally never had a woman see my penis and not laugh upon seeing it.
Jaya: No! That's so mean! Or… is it great for you?
SD: First one then the other. (laughs) Look, that's the nature of fetish. It’s taking something otherwise negative and turning it into something enjoyable. Fetish is kind of like the ultimate victory. It's the ultimate reclamation of trauma. This girl sat on your face and bullied you and took your money, and it’s still happening to me, but I enjoy it now. So what greater victory is there?
Like, I have learned to love those things that life has given. I have taken the proverbial lemons and have turned them into lemonade. And at one point, life gave me melons, and I was like, damn, I think that I might be dyslexic.
Jaya: (long pause, then laughs) oh, fuck you.
SD: (laughs) Look, fetish is one of the most fascinating aspects of humanity and history. It's got cultural and economic and historical roots. It has graced humanity since before humanity was even a thing.
The reactions this gets show that we have not strayed far from the very puritanical Quaker roots that this country was misbegotten on. Scat fetish or, you know whatever you want to call it — coprophilia, coprophagia, urophagia, if you're into the so-called water sports — you look at other countries around the world and they don't have this puritanical restriction or bias on these things. This stuff is hugely popular in in countries like Germany and Brazil.
Jaya: You know what’s funny, is that I can one hundred percent relate to you, in one way. I kick ass in my personal and professional life, but in my sexual life, I’m a total submissive.
SD: You know how many subs I've met that I wound up exposing them to their Dom side? Everybody's got sub in them. Everybody's got Dom in them, and not all situations are necessarily black and white. Some of the best and longest situations I've had we're with women that started out as as subs and they're like, what did you do to me?
There’s this one young lady. Let’s call her Christina. She worked in a pet supply store. We wound up talking. And I'm quite a bit older than her. I'm about 15 years older than her. But we we would discuss anime, we discussed video games and things like that.
One thing, amazingly enough, is that I've never been lacking in people being sexually interested in me.
Jaya: Well, you're cute.
SD: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. And I mean, men, women, you know, hit on me. I've always rolled with it.
So with Christina, we started texting back and forth. And she brought up the topic of not making much money. And so I say, “well, I'll give you money.” And she says, “why would you do that?” And so I start telling her story of this young lady who, you know, I used to pay to humiliate me and all that other stuff. And she laughed. She's like, “why would you do that?” And so I explained things about, you know, small penis humiliation. And she's like, “it can't be that small. Send me a picture. I don't believe it.” I did. She just texted back “LMAO”.
Jaya: Was that that great for you, or did that hurt, emotionally?
SD: Well, at that point, I had already gotten used to and had been into SPH, or small penis humiliation. So honestly, her response was perfect. We met. I gave her money in the parking lot, and I think she bought some weed with it or something like that. And and we kept talking, and it got to the point where she would spit in my face. She’d humiliate me. On more than one occasion she bought her girlfriend; she was bisexual. They both humiliated me while I jerked off in front of them. And then, you know, they emptied my wallet and went on their way.
Jaya: Did you like that?
SD: Yeah, very much so. She went from being totally submissive, saying “oh, I don't think I can spit in your face.” So I tell her, “okay, no pressure, then don't.” And the next time I went to give her some money, she spit dead square in my face. And she laughed.
I think everyone is either a temporary sub or a temporary Dom, or there's some interlacing between the two. There’s probably very few people who are 100% submissive or 100% dominant.
Jaya: Are you ever dominant, sexually?
SD: I have been dominant sexually, but not in like a traditional sense. Because again, if you're a heterosexual male it's hard to really be dominant when you have a you know, what is technically termed as a micro penis. Any penis less than two inches long is a micropenis.
You can't go like, “yeah, you dirty slut, you suck that huge cock,” when you have, you know, a nub. (laughs). There are other ways you could do it, of course. You could use a dildo, you could use a strap on, or you could what is known as top from the bottom. I'm sure you're familiar with the term.
Jaya: Oh yes, I’m bisexual. I’m like half a lesbian.
SD: So you like women?
Jaya: Yes, for I actually have a very serious — well, it's half a joke but it’s also real — I want Amy Klobuchar to fuck me. (laughs) She's a mean bitch and I think I'm into that.
Do you think Amy Klobuchar is hot?
SD: She's not my particular taste to be honest with you. I don’t honestly find conservative or right-leaning women to be hot. I’m not like “Greta van Susteren, do it to me!” I’m not turned on by Laura Ingraham or anything like that. But you know what, she’s not really that conservative, but Megan McCain, she’s pretty hot.
Jaya: I've noticed you like bigger girls.
SD: Absolutely. Hell yeah. I mean, absolutely. That's just my preference. There’s nothing wrong with skinny girls. But yeah, if you look historically, the human experience has always been more attracted to Rubenesque women. you know? Women of fuller carriage. (laughs)
Jaya: As a woman of fuller carriage, I deeply appreciate that. We need men like you in the world.
SD: But really, It's just not what does it for me. My first girlfriend girlfriend, she was very full-figured. I was in high school, and that all started by her literally knocking me unconscious. And that's an actual story that actually happened.
Jaya: consensually right?
SD: Oh, no, no, no, she beat my ass.
Jaya: Well, that's terrible. I'm so sorry.
SD: It turned out okay though. We were hanging out in a group; smoking, drinking, you know. One friend made a comment about her ass, because she had a gigantic ass. They were just joking. And so being there, and being part of the group, I laughed too.
And I, apparently, should not have laughed, because she just went off. She's like, why do you think it's funny? She threw a drink in my face. She kicked me in the balls. She shoved me to the ground. And from what I was told she straddled me and she just like, kept punching me. When I came to, I was bare-ass naked and my shoes, my clothes, my pants, my underwear, my socks, my wallet, everything was gone. And I heard them inside the house. And I was just laying on the ground, you know, outside. And, you know, I remember the ground being like wet and cold. And I fortunately just lived around the block, I wound up going into my garage, and getting dressed.
But I realized that even despite what happened, I was kind of turned on by it.
And so the next day I went to her house to try and get my clothes back.
She said, “well, I took your money and you're not getting that back. But if you want like your wallet and stuff, I threw it out.”
So I was like, “well, can I go through the garbage and get it?”
And she's like, “yeah, you can go through the garbage.”
She led me into the kitchen. There were two black trash bags tied up on the floor. I go through all of the trash. And I'm like, “where's where's my stuff? You said you threw it out.”
She says, “yeah, I threw it out. I didn't say I threw it out here. I threw it down the storm drain.”
It didn't really click, but I felt aroused by this. I was just made into a complete and total fool. I knew everybody was going to know, which means everybody was going to know about my very tiny penis as well, because I was left naked.
Then she says, well, if you don't want to get your ass kicked again, get on your knees and kiss mine.
Jaya: Wow.
SD: Keep in mind this is high school. We’re 13, 14 years old. I don't know where she got these kind of ideas from. And so I did. I got down and I, I kissed her ass and while I was down there, she grabbed the back of my head and she farted long and loud right in my face. And she was just howling, howling with laughter. I left. I got the hell out of there, so humiliated.
Honestly, I went home and I must have masturbated like three or four times in a row. (Laughs.) Like, I put a callus on it. Yeah, there was definitely some some chafing.
Jaya: Wow. This was obviously a very traumatic experience, and I'm honestly so glad you've been able to find something positive in it. And I don't mean that facetiously. I mean, you’ve been able to process this trauma, and all this bad shit that's happened to you, and turn it into something kind of wonderful.
SD: Well, I appreciate that. And, yeah, I'm too dumb to know when to quit and give up.
Anyway, on Monday, everybody knew. All the girls were calling me fart sniffer and fart slave and all this other stuff, because she told everybody what happened. And they knew about me getting my ass kicked.
Jaya: Can I just say, that this chick is a total psychopath?
SD: Possibly. All throughout high school, I was her bitch.
And it's so strange too because I would fight a lot. I had a lot of anger. Because I was abused. My family life was was really bad. So, none of the guys would mess with me at all. But it was in the presence of certain girls, I was just like, “okay.” I would just be reduced to a supplicant.
Jaya: Wow.
SD: She'd have me do her homework. She taught me to her laundry. Her favorite thing was to sit and eat food with dairy in it. She was lactose intolerant. I would have to buy her pizza, all this other stuff. And she would just fart on me. That was her thing. She loved that. She thought that was hysterical. And she progressed to like, humiliating me in front of her girlfriends. Like, “oh, show me your tiny little dick.”
Eventually that progressed to me kneeling in front of them and, and you know, rubbing it, jerking off, and they would just laugh hysterically. Some of the girls were actually very nice to me. Some that felt bad about it, some that were like, interested and wanted to try things. But none of the guys ever said anything to me.
Jaya: You were that scary huh?
SD: I'm not a scary person. But in a fight, I was an animal. When I was a kid, this kid called my sister ugly, okay? And my response was, “yeah, I know she's ugly, but you can't say that.” And he took off on his bike. And I ran him down, I pulled him off, I got on top of him, and I was just punching his face.
So it's always kind of had the ability in me to be vicious, but I do attribute that to being horribly abused as a child. The abuse wasn’t sexual in nature, but there were times when I had been beaten so badly, I couldn't go to school. I couldn't lift my arm to write. But rather than shrinking from it, it enabled me to defend myself. It allowed me to protect myself and protect those that I loved. So I guess in some ways, it was getting melonade out of melons, you know?
Jaya: Is there anything you want to leave me with? What do you want my readers to know about? About the fart fetish, uh, shit-eating community?
SD: Well, (laughs) we didn't really discuss much about the actual fetish. I have my steps to make it safe, and we never talked about that. I guess in that regard, I’ve been kind of a bad interview and I apologize.
Jaya: Honestly, did this has been one of the best interviews I've ever had.
SD: (laughs) Oh my god, you poor thing. Nowhere to go but up.
Jaya: And you know what, I think we can save all those details for part two. If there's interest.
SD: A number two would be great.
Jaya: (laughs)
SD: If I could leave anybody with any words as I would say that the vast majority of my fetish comes from the negative experiences that life heaped on me.
Whenever you encounter somebody who's different — I'm not saying someone homicidal, or you know, somebody who shouldn't be out in society — just stop reflect for a moment. You don't know what somebody else has gone through. And I think if we all take a moment to try and put ourselves and you know, proverbially walk a mile in somebody else's shoes, not only do you have a new pair of shoes, but you're a mile away from the weirdo.
Jaya: (laughs)
SD: When you see that person on the subway, who's scowling or having a bad time, they could have found out that their favorite aunt just got diagnosed with cancer, or maybe they just lost their job or they're going to be evicted. It's really about empathy.
And I know a lot of people have responded with their negative pithy comments because you know, everybody wants to be a super scary, super edgy, you know, shitlord. But I think these things can serve as learning experiences, There really is just a rainbow that humanity encompasses even in terms of of sexuality and fetish.
Jaya: This was bloody fabulous. And let's do Part Two sometime and let us keep in touch. You know, like, I really enjoyed talking to you. You’re a cool guy.
SD: I agree! You're right, I am. I definitely will keep in touch.
Jaya: It was a pleasure.
SD: Thank you very much.
* So this isn’t true. The method of transmission doesn’t matter to the virality of the pathogen, according to a follower of mine who is a med student, who has studied microbiology. What matters is how long they’ve been adapted to a host. Generally speaking, the longer a pathogen has existed in the population, the less deadly it is. That’s one of the reasons coronavirus is so dangerous, because it’s new.
You’ll also be glad to know that because of recent events, SD isn’t eating anyone’s poop. He’s waiting until COVID-19 dies down.
** SD was right about the Illinois Poison Control Center calling ingesting poop “minimally toxic”.
*** SD’s method for consuming poo involves putting the shit in high temperature safe, vacuum packed bags, sealing the bags shut, boiling the bags in hot water for 30-40 minutes (sometimes longer), and then putting whatever doesn’t get eaten into the freezer. Hey, I knew you were curious.
My med school student friend says that at 160 degrees, you can sterilize feces, which half an hour boiling would certainly do.
Omg finally yes.